There’s a lot of general advice online about eating out in Japan, but too much is focused on etiquette and language skills. Those can be helpful, sure, but in all honesty, restaurant staff won’t really care if an obvious tourist sticks their chopsticks into their rice.
While it’s important to be respectful (as one should always be anyway), remember to relax and enjoy your trip! People tend to overthink and see everything in Japan as some sort of “ancient tradition”, when a lot of the uniqueness are just cultural quirks, some of them quite recent and mundane.
Here is some useful advice a lot of guides never mention that can actually hep you have the best experience.
Payment
Cash is still king, but post-covid, credit card payments are much more widespread, even at some of the smaller shops. It’s important to always carry some cash with you (I always keep around 50,000 yen on my wallet just in case), but don’t be afraid to ask if you can pay by card: “kaado wa tsukae masu ka?”. VISA, Mastercard and JCB tend to be the most accepted, with Amex following behind.
There are a lot of contactless payment options in Japan, but most of them are inaccessible to non-residents, so stick to credit/debit cards to keep things simple.
Tips
Just don’t tip. No exceptions. At worst it will be taken as a bribe, and at best, as a mistake, with staff running after you on the street. You show your appreciation just by being a customer and saying thanks when you leave, that’s it. People get paid enough.
Smoking
It’s much better than it used to be a few years ago, but some places still allow indoor smoking. Izakayas, bars, yakitori places and some old-school coffeehouses tend to be the worst offenders, and although they are required by law to have a separate smoking section, the section can be just the seat next to you… If you get asked for a smoking (kitsuen-seki) or non-smoking seat (kinnen-seki) when coming in, be prepared to smell cigarette smoke even if you choose a non-smoking seat.
Fragrances (Perfume / Cologne)
Japan doesn’t have a strong fragrance culture and several places, including restaurants, have a “no perfume/cologne policy”. Even scented fabric softeners or cosmetics can be too much for some people, so try to be mindful.
The strictest places tend to be traditional Japanese restaurants serving food like sushi, soba or wagashi (Japanese sweets), as strong scents might interfere with the delicate flavors and aromas of those dishes.
You might be denied entry, or even be asked to leave after being seated if other customers, or a perfectionist chef, notices your perfume. As a fragrance collector I hate to say it, but during your stay here your best bet is to skip the Chanel 05 and stick to a scentless deodorant.
Bars, clubs, and more casual places should be fine though. Just don’t overspray and be careful with those “beast-mode” fragrances (no Interlude Man when riding the subway please…).
Children
In Japan, some restaurants are generally understood to be only for adults. If it’s nighttime and most people are drinking as they eat (such as at izakayas, yakitori places and the like), it probably won’t be kid friendly.
Others might cater to workers (like the noodle shops you tend to see close to stations), where you are expected to go in, eat quickly and go out, so they might not be comfortable to enjoy with kids. One good way to know is to look at the seating, if there are only counter seats (or no seats), it’s eat and go; if there are tables, it’s probably fine with a family.
Most places will accommodate children, just don’t be shocked if some deny or discourage you from entry. If they do, it’s because they don’t have the facilities or an appropriate menu/atmosphere to serve children. It’s not discriminatory, they are just trying to preserve their customer’s and your own family’s experience.
If you are bringing your small ones (or picky teenagers), your safest bet are places like the restaurant floors of department stores (which can have actually great food), mall food courts (like AEON’s) or so called “family restaurants” like Denny’s, Saizerya, Gusto, Royal Host, Jonathan’s, etc.